But I will put anything into my mouth, whether it's supposed to go there or not...because I'm different. I feel like I could make an entire sampler of that episode ("Knifin' Around") of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. That's a show that reminds me of my youth and specifically when Adult Swim started up.
I should probably wrap up some of my outstanding projects but I'm itching to start on my newest design that originated from another show that was part of the Adult Swim line-up. After "winning" Nanowrimo I'm looking forward to getting back into cross stitching. Especially since it's almost Baby Jee's bday and I have my yearly Xmas tradition of watching this:
Yep. Nothing gets me in the holiday spirit more than secret government organizations that hunt down witches. While I respect the way WHR ended I still would've liked a leeeeeetle more closure.
Both of these pieces were inspired by FX's Archer, the best animated show on television at the moment. I don't have too much to add beyond that but they were fun, fairly quick ones to make.
Instead of doing three separate posts I thought I would just shove my three latest projects into a single post (in order of completion). The first is titled Marzipan Dildo. Originally this piece was going to say "I'm gonna wreck your sweetshop gurl" but as I watching "The Thick of It", Malcolm Tucker inspired me again. Fortunately the words "As Useless As a Marzipan Dildo" still fit within the already finished border. I was at my parent's house putting together the PDF pattern to sell in my Etsy shop when my dad came downstairs. The following is a direct transcript of our conversation:
Dad: What's a marzipan dildo?
Me:...Ummm you know what marzipan is right?
Dad: Yeah
Me: And you know what a dildo is...
Dad: Yeah. What's a marzipan dildo?
Me: You know...marzipan...it err melts very quickly when it gets warm.
Dad: Oh...Ohhhhh
Quality father-daughter bonding time.
Next up we have Hater Vigilante:
I showed a preview of this on the blog earlier. I had started this piece on black cloth using silver satin thread however this soon pissed me off too much. I decided I wanted something quick and easy like an over forty prostitute so I just decided to redo it on this cream with a plain gray thread.
Finally we have Rock Bottom:
This comes from American Dad!, season 3, episode 13 titled "Black Mystery Month". Though it's hard to tell in the photo I used a mixed strand for the leaves in the tree. That certainly made things much more visually interesting when I was doing the second pass over the stitches. The car image I winged and it came out looking pretty good.
While working on Rock Bottom I started watching the second series of BBC's Sherlock starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman and Mark Gatiss. I had missed the initial American run on PBS and wasn't motivated to deal with the bullshit of (free) online video sites so I was quite pleased when it was finally added to Netflix Instant watch.
I've seen the first two episodes but haven't watched the third yet. This happens on a fairly frequent basis for me, the whole not watching the last episode thing. I'm strangely unwilling to close the book so to speak on some things. I still have yet to watch the End of Time specials for Doctor Who, refusing to watch the departure of David Tennant. I also was very loathe to watch the mid-season finale of Doctor Who this year.
There were two reasons I was so hesitant, first because of the departure of Amy and Rory and second because WEEPING ANGELS MOTHERFUCKER. I live in a more urban environment. I'm used to lots of background noise all the time ("skank" fights are my favorite). Last weekend I was pet-sitting for my parents who live out in the middle of nowhere where it's silent. It's always when I stay out there that I realize just how much noise I'm used to hearing. Add in the fact that I watch a ton of true-crime shows and suddenly there's an axe murderer in every shadow. I was a late-comer to Doctor Who, getting on the bandwagon shortly after series 5 of the reboot. So my first introduction to the Weeping Angels were "The Time of Angels" and "Flesh and Stone" where they are much more freaky than in the original series three episode "Blink". In "Blink" they are the "kindest" killers in the universe, merely sending you back in time to steal your future years. In "Time" and "Flesh" they are neck-snapping, voice-hijacking terrors.
****DOCTOR WHO SERIES 7 SPOILERS****
But the real reason was Amy and Rory. From the beginning of series 7, Moffat seemed to be building towards the Ponds leaving by choice, as in they decide to stop traveling with the doctor while still existing in present day Earth. They seemed to be getting tired of reconciling their regular life with their time with the Doctor and right up until the end of the "Power of Three" it seemed they would ease out of the show. However when "Power" concluded it seemed they had swung back in favor of traveling and so I knew it would be a hard ending. Moffat hinted as much in pre-series interviews but I was hoping against hope he was just yanking our chains.
Rose and Donna were forced away from the Doctor's side. Rose by being in another dimension and Donna by the life and death amnesia. Martha however made the choice to leave the doctor and continued to show up in series 4. Martha is my least favorite companion of the reboot and it had nothing to do with Freema Agyeman's acting. Coming after Rose was a going to be tricky anyways and she was just too much like her to really stand on her own. And having her continually show up was distracting in series 4. Amy is really the new Rose. The whole show was practically rebooted when Steven Moffat took the helm after series 4: new doctor, new companion...new theme song. The new companion (Clara/Oswin) would have had a difficult time if Amy and Rory were readily available to travel with the Doctor. So I get why Moffat wanted to make them totally unavailable. There were worse ways for him to have written them out (at least he didn't kill them!) and this does leave the potential for a very very special occasion reprisal of their roles. And I think that the way he did end it was just another beautiful touch on the love between Amy and Rory.
I've loved watching their love evolve throughout the last 2.5 series. "The Girl Who Waited" made me bawl my eyes out. It began very unevenly with Rory the one firmly in love and Amy all wishy-washy (at least until "Amy's Choice", sort of prophetic) but ended when Amy chose to forsake everyone, including the Doctor, for Rory. I can't go on long enough on how brilliant the acting was between Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill throughout their time on the show.
This the first time I've completed a piece specifically to sell. I finally gave in and created an Etsy shop (Hussy Brigade) to sell my completed pieces and patterns. I'm not much of a self-promoter so with Etsy at least I'd have more exposure. With this piece I was going for the look of a sign. I decided to mimic the bright colors in the video itself. I'll admit I'm ridiculously proud of the hangul characters. Even though I was pretty sure it would be a fruitless endeavor I did try to find some pre-designed hangul characters to help model mine after. No such luck, so I ended up staring at an enlarged version of the text and fiddling around with placements for an hour or so. Hopefully this is a faithful enough approximation that it doesn't say "I fucked your mom" or something. If you're one of the two people who hasn't seen the video check it out here:
I'm a huge fan of Regretsy because truly there is nothing I love so much as fuckery, whimsicle or not. HK posted a contest for Photo cross stitch samplers. Being the fat-fingered cross-stitchin' slag that I am, I felt compelled to enter. My submission probably won't win but I am seriously considering making this happen in my artistic ability in a real way and selling it in my newly created WePay store.
Speaking of my newly-created WePay store that currently is not selling anything, I designed this pattern after the Ass-mazing fuckery that was Loosey-gate 2012 (more on that later). I set aside my other cross stitch project just to make this happen. I thought it would be nice if the H and V in the logo were slightly shiny so I used satin floss which was a big gaping maw of a vagina mistake. Satin floss is a bitch to stitch with. So fuck me. I'm hoping though that the finished piece will be the first offering to the e-Store gods. I plan to primarily sell the patterns I create and pieces as I make them. Now I just have to figure out a way to trick people into buying the shit I shill.
My roommate is the easiest person to shop for. Half the time
I wish we were in a romantic relationship just so I had the excuse to buy her
more presents. Happy six years four months and nine days lover, here’s
something I saw on the internet and knew you would enjoy. So for Baby Jee’s day
this past year it was a struggle to give up the pleasure of all those random
finds during the year and make her this piece of embroidery. But the bitch
demanded it, jokingly in a Facebook message of course (Yes, we Facebook message
each other despite living in the same apartment. DON’T JUDGE ME).
She sent me this video and said “Why can’t I have a tea
towel with this embroidered on it!?”
I knew she wouldn’t actually use a tea towel. Despite her
love of the British she doesn’t drink tea. This is quite amazing given the fact
that she lives with a tea snob like me. I thought about making it into a throw
pillow but due to time constraints and my inability to sew straight without a
nice little grid to guide me I decided to leave it plain and let her decide
what she wanted to do with it (she still hasn’t done anything with it).
When my roommate decides to do something (which, btdubs she
is terrible at decision-making, see above), she does it right the first time.
She’ll take the time and plan everything out before doing something so it ends up
the exact way she wanted it…unlike me, who is more the crafty version of Helen
Keller at a skate park for the first time. That was supposed to be some sort of
pun on not looking before you leap. Key word: supposed. Hence in doing this I
had to make sure that everything turned out perfectly. Since there was no
Tucker’s Law embroidery kit, I had to make my own pattern…my very first.
It took four FUCKING hours (I create my patterns in Excel
since I can move things around and counting shit is easier.) I watched the
video over and over and over again just so I was positive I had gotten all the
words correct. I was terrified of not counting something right. It was
nerve-wracking! I watched the entire first series of MI-5 when I started embroidering
which I had been avoiding watching for a long time for one reason:
I hate Matthew Macfadyen. Hhhhhhate him. I’ve hated him ever
since I watched Pride & Prejudice and read an interview where he said that
he didn’t even read the book before playing Darcy. Now, Colin Firth will always
be MY Mr. Darcy so Macfadyen already had that against him the first time I
watched P&P 2005. Granted, he was just the icing on the cake of that mess:
Donald Sutherland as an affable Mr. Bennett who regards his
wife fondly?
Caroline Bingley portrayed as a Regency era Kathryn Merteuil?
Pretty Mary? Mary is ugly and there’s a reason for that.
And do not even get me started on the ginger-bouffant
simpleton that was Mr. Bingley…
So Macfadyen’s vapid ninny version of Mr. Darcy fit right
in. The only good thing about that movie: Tom Hollander as Mr. Collins. He was
amazing.
I hereby announce the beginning of this blog. Like many of the blogs I have started over the years this too shall fall by the wayside at some point but while it is still active its purpose will be to leave a record of the cross stitching I do. Maybe at some point I'll reach cross-stitch saturation at my dwelling and start hawking my wares on the internets. To quote Pam Poovey, thank god for them internets. In addition I'll probably review stuff I watched while embroidering. Maybe some stranger will happen upon my blog and go WTF?
