Tucker's Law

My roommate is the easiest person to shop for. Half the time I wish we were in a romantic relationship just so I had the excuse to buy her more presents. Happy six years four months and nine days lover, here’s something I saw on the internet and knew you would enjoy. So for Baby Jee’s day this past year it was a struggle to give up the pleasure of all those random finds during the year and make her this piece of embroidery. But the bitch demanded it, jokingly in a Facebook message of course (Yes, we Facebook message each other despite living in the same apartment. DON’T JUDGE ME).

She sent me this video and said “Why can’t I have a tea towel with this embroidered on it!?”

I knew she wouldn’t actually use a tea towel. Despite her love of the British she doesn’t drink tea. This is quite amazing given the fact that she lives with a tea snob like me. I thought about making it into a throw pillow but due to time constraints and my inability to sew straight without a nice little grid to guide me I decided to leave it plain and let her decide what she wanted to do with it (she still hasn’t done anything with it).

When my roommate decides to do something (which, btdubs she is terrible at decision-making, see above), she does it right the first time. She’ll take the time and plan everything out before doing something so it ends up the exact way she wanted it…unlike me, who is more the crafty version of Helen Keller at a skate park for the first time. That was supposed to be some sort of pun on not looking before you leap. Key word: supposed. Hence in doing this I had to make sure that everything turned out perfectly. Since there was no Tucker’s Law embroidery kit, I had to make my own pattern…my very first.

It took four FUCKING hours (I create my patterns in Excel since I can move things around and counting shit is easier.) I watched the video over and over and over again just so I was positive I had gotten all the words correct. I was terrified of not counting something right. It was nerve-wracking! I watched the entire first series of MI-5 when I started embroidering which I had been avoiding watching for a long time for one reason:

I hate Matthew Macfadyen. Hhhhhhate him. I’ve hated him ever since I watched Pride & Prejudice and read an interview where he said that he didn’t even read the book before playing Darcy. Now, Colin Firth will always be MY Mr. Darcy so Macfadyen already had that against him the first time I watched P&P 2005. Granted, he was just the icing on the cake of that mess:

Donald Sutherland as an affable Mr. Bennett who regards his wife fondly?

Caroline Bingley portrayed as a Regency era Kathryn Merteuil?

Pretty Mary? Mary is ugly and there’s a reason for that.

And do not even get me started on the ginger-bouffant simpleton that was Mr. Bingley…

So Macfadyen’s vapid ninny version of Mr. Darcy fit right in. The only good thing about that movie: Tom Hollander as Mr. Collins. He was amazing.

Peace Out

F.C.H.   

P.S. Preview of the next piece:

                                                                         

First.

I hereby announce the beginning of this blog. Like many of the blogs I have started over the years this too shall fall by the wayside at some point but while it is still active its purpose will be to leave a record of the cross stitching I do. Maybe at some point I'll reach cross-stitch saturation at my dwelling and start hawking my wares on the internets. To quote Pam Poovey, thank god for them internets. In addition I'll probably review stuff I watched while embroidering. Maybe some stranger will happen upon my blog and go WTF?

We can only hope...and by we I mean me.